Recently I've been struggling to find exactly what I can do to serve God. Not many ministries are opening up to me, nor are many readily available to my schedule. Blogging seems to be the one ministry that is flexible to my schedule (a bit too flexible which is why I never get around to it, but if I can just keep the commitment that should be fixed). It also goes along with what I've been realizing are close to my spiritual gifting. It's always a struggle to figure out spiritual gifts, but I know mine is along the lines of knowledge, exhortation, teaching, evangelism etc. This blog can hone in on all of that. I found that these might be along the lines of my spiritual gift because of a letter I wrote recently to a college professor of mine. I'm saving the letter for another blog post, but the experience of writing it was great. Just the act of being used by God to pen down exactly what He wanted me to say was extremely uplifting- just how I've been told utilizing your spiritual gift is supposed to feel. It's supposed to feel like you are being useful and the act is supposed to be more of a personal blessing than any other kind of act.
As much as it scares me to begin writing on this blog again I know I need to do it. My school schedule will be rough and dedicating time to this will be a sacrifice. I pray I can keep it up. I made the mistake of researching how to get a blog noticed. This too is scary. With so many blogs out there I fear that this one will never get noticed or cause any impact in any lives. Who wants to read what I have to say? And if they did, how could they ever find it? But I know God does not lay a work or desire on someone's heart for no reason.
The most impactful and relevant thing I heard that week regarding my fears about this blog were what Christine Caine said about serving God in small or anonymous places. In learning to serve God you start small. Why? This is where character is learned. Especially with gifts that do with teaching the Bible, it would be easy to let character slide and to let pride, insecurities and other temptations take over. But in the places of anonymous service the strength to withstand is developed. This is my plan through this blog. Yes, not many people may be influenced or reached through it, but I will be influenced. I will learn discipline to write, I will develop writing habits and style, I will have to study God's word more to know what to write. In the meantime, some will be reached I pray, and I give all glory to God for that because He will have to give me much strength to continue writing once school starts up.