January 13, 2016

Spiritual Gifts, Passion Conference and Blogging Again

It's been almost two years since my last post. Way too long of a break, but a necessary break. I've been hard at work with college classes in the school year and camp in the summer. This led to bumping down this blog to my last priority. In addition, I did not find God leading me to ever post. However, I desire to begin blogging again.

Recently I've been struggling to find exactly what I can do to serve God. Not many ministries are opening up to me, nor are many readily available to my schedule. Blogging seems to be the one ministry that is flexible to my schedule (a bit too flexible which is why I never get around to it, but if I can just keep the commitment that should be fixed). It also goes along with what I've been realizing are close to my spiritual gifting. It's always a struggle to figure out spiritual gifts, but I know mine is along the lines of knowledge, exhortation, teaching, evangelism etc. This blog can hone in on all of that. I found that these might be along the lines of my spiritual gift because of a letter I wrote recently to a college professor of mine. I'm saving the letter for another blog post, but the experience of writing it was great. Just the act of being used by God to pen down exactly what He wanted me to say was extremely uplifting- just how I've been told utilizing your spiritual gift is supposed to feel. It's supposed to feel like you are being useful and the act is supposed to be more of a personal blessing than any other kind of act.

As much as it scares me to begin writing on this blog again I know I need to do it. My school schedule will be rough and dedicating time to this will be a sacrifice. I pray I can keep it up. I made the mistake of researching how to get a blog noticed. This too is scary. With so many blogs out there I fear that this one will never get noticed or cause any impact in any lives. Who wants to read what I have to say? And if they did, how could they ever find it? But I know God does not lay a work or desire on someone's heart for no reason.
It was a weekend ago that I finally said yes to this desire God was laying on my heart. All these fears had been overwhelming the desire, but I said no more. Last weekend, I was able to go to the Passion Conference here in Houston. The Passion Conference is dedicated to causing young adults (18-25) to realize that life is not about them, but that they must pursue a passion for God's glory to be revealed on earth. They gather together some of the best speakers and musicians to accomplish this purpose. I love the passion each leader of the conference has. My three years going to Passion have been some of the most refreshing, thought-provoking, and life changing times I have ever been in. This year was the best. I don't say that lightly. I have never felt such victory, grace, or empowerment through Christ as I had this year. From all the truth spoken over the conference through the songs and though the speakers, I came away saying no more to fear, hesitation, doubts or insecurities. Yes, I've been still struggling with them. The plan was to start blogging right away. But I've said yes to fighting them with scripture and being more dedicated to learning the scriptures to fight them with.
The most impactful and relevant thing I heard that week regarding my fears about this blog were what Christine Caine said about serving God in small or anonymous places. In learning to serve God you start small. Why? This is where character is learned. Especially with gifts that do with teaching the Bible, it would be easy to let character slide and to let pride, insecurities and other temptations take over. But in the places of anonymous service the strength to withstand is developed. This is my plan through this blog. Yes, not many people may be influenced or reached through it, but I will be influenced. I will learn discipline to write, I will develop writing habits and style, I will have to study God's word more to know what to write. In the meantime, some will be reached I pray, and I give all glory to God for that because He will have to give me much strength to continue writing once school starts up.