June 11, 2012

Waiting for Home

     I just came home from camp a couple days ago. My last week of school was finally over and it was time to go to camp where I could be stress free. I could just focus on having fun and growing closer to God.
     Now I'm home and home is such a lovely place. Every time I leave on some sort of adventure and then come back I grow more and more attached to home. My beautiful and peaceful home where my family is faithfully there. Home is where I can just collapse on bed and cuddle with my stuffed animals and fluffy pillows knowing that when I wake up my mom is there to talk to about all the things I learned while I was away. She always understands.
     As I think on my next adventure, the Nicaragua mission trip, I am scared. I don't want to leave my home for so long. I haven't felt like this before. Ever since I signed up to go on the trip I've been so excited for this adventure that I could not wait to go on.  I don't completely feel like that anymore.
I'm so scared now, and I'll admit it, I'm worried. Though I strive to give all that to God, I'm struggling. It seems like I can't go back to the carefree Christian I use to be, but the Bible says I should, so it must be possible somehow.
     I am no longer that child that believes that fairy tales are true. The world has taught me that adventures are not always happy while they happen. They are more like the Lord of the Rings than anything else, if you know what I mean.
     I guess only the Lord can help me have child-like faith again. That carefree, trusting, go with the flow faith that runs to God my Strong Tower and my Refuge like ducklings run to their mother, or like I run to my mother's arms after a week away from her.
     As I sit here writing this I know that God will work out all things for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His good purpose. It is just very difficult to continue, unwavering, in complete trust when things pop up that aren't according to plan or when I'm tired or having an emotional day. God is continuously giving me hope though. He is in the process of revealing more of Himself to me. I learned a new name for God today, Jehovah Shammah. This name means THE LORD IS THERE (Ezekiel 48:35). He has given me a fresh revelation that home doesn't necessarily have to be where I grew up or where my family is. Home is wherever God is, and God is always there.
     Just as I have grown accustomed to collapsing onto my bed when I get back from an adventurous day, I need to grow use to collapsing into my savior's arms before the thrown of grace. For my Lord is faithfully there waiting for me to let go of all my emotions and worries into His hand that are far more capable then mine. He is waiting at home for me to unwind.
     God is continuously with me, holding my hand, and will help - I completely believe that deep down no mater what. The Lord has proven His faithfulness through Bible-stories, the lives of others, and my life. I KNOW He will never let me go. If He never let go of the Israelites He will never let go of me.

 "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; 
he has become my salvation."
Isaiah 12:2 
Here's a song that goes along with this post:





     So no matter how far I roam away from my earthly home, I am still at home. God became my home when I chose to accept Him as my savior from sin. My Lord is Jehovah Shammah; He is always there.